New Wargaming Survey!
Every once in a while, Wargaming sends out a survey to allegedly find out what people think about their game. They obviously never bother looking at them because everybody has bitched about the same shit for years and not one single thing has ever been done to address any of it, but I digress…
This survey though, was different. It starts out innocently enough like they actually want to know about how you enjoy the game. That only last a few slides though before it takes a turn into the fucking Twilight Zone.
Seriously. This shit gets weird and it’s not even subtle in doing so. You start off in a sort of depressed state saying to yourself, “Why the fuck am I bothering with all of this again” and before long you’re looking around to see what the hell kind of rabbit hole you just fell into.
Half way through, I shit you not, Rod Serling was sitting right behind me. But then, we decided to have a bit of fun with it. So we fired up the VPN’s and took the survey 1,173 times.
We can’t wait to see what they think of the data they compile from our answers. But again, I digress…on with the survey!
Here it is in its entirety. On some slides, we’ve left a sample of our answers:
As mentioned, it starts out innocently enough. Apparently, this slide just wants you to tell them how addicted you are to the game.
Now they’re wanting to know how many of their live at home, never moved out, work for 20 dollar allowance mowing the lawn potato computers are vainly attempting to run their shitty optimized, outdated graphics engine.
This is apparently another one of those “how addicted are you” slides; I mean, shit man. If you’re playing it “at work and/or while studying” you’re in pretty fucking bad shape.
This one clearly goes towards advertising. For example, if enough people say “Logitech” they’ll try to strike up some sort of deal with Logitech to market their fucked up, troll fest, toxic, dead game with.
Another addiction slide, obviously. One begins to wonder at this point if they’re being sued by someone for the newly classified mental disorder of gaming addiction. It wouldn’t surprise us a bit that this is EXACTLY why they’re doing this survey: not because they want to, but because they’re being made to by a lawsuit.
This one takes me back to the soccer shit they did. They’re obviously fishing for some other stupid ass sport to hurl into the game. Tanks play baseball. Tanks play hockey. Tanks play curling. Oh for fucks sake…
Another “hurl a sport tanks play into the game” slide. ***eye roll***
Here’s where shit starts to get weird. Notice the tick box for Weapons? I mean, what the fuck? Fishing, Travel, History, Fun, WEAPONS! This one was a head scratcher.
It was at this point that a puff of smoke breezed in from over my left shoulder. Slooooowly I turned to see Rod Serling sitting there with that trademark smirk on his face. I asked, “What the fuck, Rod?” He just nodded towards the screen and winked and motioned with the cigarette hand to proceed.
It’s at this point that Rod took over the mouse. I mean, what in the fuck is this all about? Are they going to start hurling more blood and guts into the game? Are they considering making an FPS? (For the record, World of Tanks IS an FPS, so I don’t see the point.)
WHAT. THE. FUCK?! Now they want to know how your community feels? How the fuck is this a survey about how you feel about their tank game? Are they considering marketing a new line of firearms to your neck of the woods?
So now they’re asking your opinion on someone else’s opinion. Yeah. We’ve moved on into the Twilight Zone and Rod is driving.
Oh boy. Yeah. Now we’re moving on from guns to alcohol. In other words, they want to know how many fucking psychopaths they have playing their game.
What do you drink while playing? The other odd thing is, where the fuck did the Whiskey, Vodka, Tequila, Rum and Champagne go?
They’re having a go at the fast food now. So in other words, they want to know if you’re this guy:
Now they want to know where you shop. I’ll bet 100 bucks I ain’t got that they’ll use this to try to set up gaming cards with. But again, it’s far too late for that bullshit now.
Insurance? OK, this is fucked up. Guns, alcohol, now insurance? If this isn’t designed to figure out what their liability is over allowing their toxic ass game to spin out of control, then I don’t know what the fuck this is all about.
So who’s your favorite actor? Let me guess: the Steven Seagal thing from World of Warships didn’t go over anywhere near as well as they thought it would, so they’re going to see if there’s a cheap, out of work, has been actor or actress to hire on the cheap to bring into World of Tanks that people actually like. Yeah. Sound’s about right.
This one is self explanatory. They’re fishing for young tail. We obliged.
The last slide. Again, self explanatory.
So from me and my partner in crime Rod Serling, we’re out of here. Have a great day, folks and we hope you had as much fun with this ‘survey’ as we did!