Sick of actually trying to learn the game?
Tired of getting your ass kicked by shit you can’t see?
Are you over getting bitched at by people for not killing anybody?
Then this is for you:
WarFailing and EWOT are proud to present:
THE TRUMP M 44
Folks, this is THE SPG you’ve been waiting all your life for! For the low, low price of just $6,450.00 you can troll the flying fuck out of EVERYBODY!
No, the hair does NOT give you the 413mm AquaNet armor bonus on this model. It DOES give you the TRUMP COMB-OVER RADAR GUIDANCE SHOT DELIVERY SYSTEM.
This patent pending system makes your arty accurate to within .0125 inches at a range of 30 miles. Since most maps are less than a couple thousand meters, you can rest assured your shots are going to blow everybody you shoot at clear to fucking Mars.
Also available in a bundle! For the low, low price of just $10,000 in cash, your first born child, and a date with your wife, you get:
- TRUMP M44
- 10 Gold Rounds GUARANTEED to not only instantly vaporize whoever you hit, but it also infects their computer with a virus that only enables Barbara Streisand to be played on the speakers at full volume.
- 7 days premium time (Only one day slightly guaranteed. OK, we’ll come clean, none of it is, but we feel it’s pretty safe to assume you’ll get at least one day.)