Profile: FlorbFnarb

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FlorbFnarb is a horse of a different color. Now, there are forum trolls, bullies, shills, and the like coming out of the woodwork at World of Tanks, but we wanted to go a different direction for once. We wanted to capture at least some small measure of what we like to call: The Lunatic Fringe. The Lunatic Fringe are those that make such ridiculous claims from time to time, that they cease to be anything like a troll or shill, rather they move on over into the realm of pure comic relief.

Folks, FlorbFnarb flat-out wrote the book on The Lunatic Fringe. We’re not sure what happened to this guy; maybe he’s a disgruntled veteran that got a rough deal, or maybe he’s a postal employee frustrated to the point of, well, going postal. Maybe he’s just watched far, far too many Oliver Stone movies. Maybe it’s all of the above.

Whatever the cause, this guy has more conspiracy theories than you can shake a stick at. EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING is out to get him. EVERYBODY. EVERYTHING. ALL OF IT. Wargaming, their development team, random teammates, people he’s never even played the game with, that fat guy at 5 Brothers choking down a burger; they’re ALL out to get him. Every last single damn one of them.

What do we mean by this? Well, exactly what we just said. To FlorbFnarb, nothing happens by chance or accident. It’s all intentional on somebody’s part and conveniently it’s always on everybody eleses part but his. To get the ball rolling, we’ll start with his blind belief that his computer is fine. It’s perfect. It always has been. It always will be. Wargaming has single handedly DESTROYED his computers ability to run the game, and it’s all there fault.

No shit, folks. It’s all their fault. Don’t think so? Well, here you go:

View PostFlorbFnarb, on Oct 07 2016 – 01:31, said:

Entirely new patch, still having the game freeze with a massive ping spike and FPS drop as soon as an enemy is spotted.  Game starts with framerate about 20 and 90 ping, FPS plummets to about 5 or worse and ping skyrockets to 300 the instant I see an enemy

OK. That’s just a couple weeks ago. Let’s go back further to, lets say, July:

View PostFlorbFnarb, on Jul 14 2016 – 20:15, said:

It’s your patch.  Let’s start with that.  It’s your patch at fault, period.  It cannot be something that just happened to a bunch of people and just coincidentally happened on the very day the patch dropped.

But it’s been something like a month now, and my patience is through.  I got a zillion suggestions on how I could do this or that, none of which worked – and of course none of them could work, because it isn’t possible for me to fix a problem with your patch.

But it’s been a month now, and I have effectively lost an entire month’s worth of premium time, because you have done absolutely nothing to fix the patch in that time.  Just tough #$&% for me, right?

So do us a favor – if fixing the patch is low on your priority list, which it clearly is, please just admit the fact.  I would appreciate not wasting my time trying a bunch of “fixes” that you know do nothing whatsoever to correct the problem.

Let’s keep going! June for crying out loud!:

View PostFlorbFnarb, on Jun 14 2016 – 23:40, said:

The ping is getting worse and worse.  At one point it seemed to be moderately playable at first and would only get bad after several matches, requiring a restart.

But now the ping is absolutely unplayable right out the gate.  Absolutely 100% unplayable.  The game client will say I’m getting around 54, and seems close to that, but then it jumps to over 100, but plays like I’m actually getting 700…at which point it will simply freeze, often for several seconds.

So, every patch Wargaming has put out the last 5 months has ruined his system. Now, it couldn’t POSSIBLY be his system, could it?

Of course not! Welcome to The Lunatic Fringe.

So what’s next? Well, why don’t we go from the “Wargaming is out to fry my computer so I lose premium time” conspiracy, over to the “Everybody on my team is intentionally trying to lose games to hurt my win rate” conspiracy.

Read it again. No, it’s not a typo. Yes, we’re dead serious. No, we’re not shitting you. Here we go:

If you insist on going valley in Lakeville, you are actively trying to lose the match.

That entire thread accuses people of intentionally trying to lose just by where they go on a given map. He’s made several threads on that same exact topic on that same exact map. Interesting to say the least.

But it doesn’t end there. During the game, he accuses his team constantly of trying to lose intentionally. Don’t believe us? Well, you’re in luck because we have it on video. Let’s roll tape!

In this video, our man FlorbFnarb is bottom tier (T6 in a T8 game) in his ARL44. Despite the fact he’s bottom tier and in a French heavy that has the armor of a sardine can, he charges out front head on and dies quickly. He then, of course, goes on to blame the entire team and accuses them of trying to lose on purpose. The fun begins around the 2:30 mark as he gets pummeled. He then spends his time blaming the entire team for losing on purpose.

OK, so maybe he’s just having a bad day, right? Maybe that was a one off. Maybe he just got caught the one time he went off on a boneheaded rant like that.

Not a chance, folks. Here we go again. Now, this one is funny because once again he starts blaming his team for everything that happens…AND THEY ARE WINNING THE GAME!!!

The fun begins here at the 2:36 mark where the T5 scout on his team dies. He then starts going on and on about how everybody is intentionally trying to lose. Specifically, he goes off on an IS tank that he wants reported for intentionally trying to lose the game. This all goes on in all chat too, so for those of you wondering why it’s gone, this is a part of the reason, we’re sure.

It just never ends with this guy. Ever. It’s ALWAYS everybody else. It’s ALWAYS just against him.

But at the same time, what does he think about people who say their teams are causing them to have a bad win rate? Well, this is funny as hell, but he says:

Florbfnarb posted May 26 2016  – 16:23,

Your teams don’t affect your WR at all, because we all get the same teams.

Say what?! Is this the same guy that just accused his teams of losing on purpose and taking him down with them? Yes, it is. The guy is so two-faced it’s hysterical. For YOU, there’s no excuse for your win rate. For HIM, it’s his teams always intentionally screwing him over.

Yes. Screwing HIM over. He said it:

I’m fucking tired of the first couple matches being almost guaranteed losses. Last night, first two matches were losses. Today, first FOUR matches were losses. I randomly draw the weaker team four times in a row – first three were basically lost in the first sixty to ninety seconds, and only the fourth was even possible to win.

Every.
Fucking.
Night.

Poor guy. It must be just awful to have thousands of people out to get you. It must be horrid to have your win rate ruined intentionally by people you don’t know and your computer wrecked by the very developers of the game you hate to play.

So how sad are we all now for this guy? Well, once we dry out tears of laughter, we’re not sorry for him at all…because he got his revenge on Wargaming. That’s right, he actually found a way to screw them over. He sold his rentals and made millions of credits doing it.

Now, the funny part of it all is that he doesn’t see anything at all wrong with doing that. That he got credits for tanks he didn’t own and were just given temporarily as a test drive were his to do with as he pleased.

Needless to say, when people started complaining about the exploit, he jumped on the defensive about it. Here he is:

On 5/27/2016 at 0:27 AM, FlorbFnarb said:
It’s nothing the same. If you rig matches, you are screwing people out of a win, plain and simple. Not to get excessively high-minded about it, but if you play a game, you’re supposed to play to win, and you owe it to your teammates not to take a dive.

But selling rental tanks? It screws nobody out of anything.

Wrong, FlorbFnarb. You screwed Wargaming out of money and time. Not only that, but you wind up costing others money because Wargaming can come down on economy due to the millions they lost to exploiters like you.

So folks, in the end, FlorbFnarb is actually a patent narcissist. Everybody is out to get him, and only he is allowed to exploit situations for his own gain.

What an outstanding addition to the World of Tanks community. Let’s all join our man in Istanbul on The Lunatic Fringe. You’ll be needing the official FlorbFnarb survival kit.

uses-for-aluminum-foil

Wrap up, and roll out with FlorbFnarb!

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5 Responses

  1. Aldus says:

    LMAO!!! Why have I not heard of this guy? Damn that’s funny!

    Thank you! You’ve probably not heard of him as he’s been keeping a low profile the last 7 or so months. He’s not posted as much lately, so he comes in under the radar for most people.

    – Thing 1

  2. Ansbach1998 says:

    Good ole FlorbFnarb. One of the most ridiculous posters on the WoT Forums and is accurately summed up in this Profile. This guy(?) actually believes that any person pointing to WG’s own words and intent in the MM Patent is a conspiracy theory ALL THE WHILE claiming that everyone on HIS team is throwing the game for the other team. On top of that he had/has still one of the largest forum posts to games played ratio out of all the playerbase, the WoT forums is literally his game.

    I haven’t played in quite a long while but I have had the pleasure of seeing this guy(?) in my games around 6 times, what a work of art. There use to be alot of replays featuring him on the WoTReplay site.

    Spot on. Where were you while we were writing this article? LOL!

    – Thing 1

  3. Prinzeugen85 says:

    The golden irony of this is 2 years ago, he was a Grade A corporate shill. It got to the point where I suggested he was the PR for Jonestown. Ah the good old days.

    Very true! We don’t expect him to surface again until the next patch hits when he (surprise, surprise) will bitch about his potato not being able to run it. Again.

    – Thing 1

  4. 1n_Soviet_Russia says:

    >Makes fun of user who blames everything on WG
    >Blames unicum for all my problems
    > JackieChanWTF.jpg

    You and all your Wotlabs butt buddies talk about how worthless and not worth reading this site is. Then you all spend all of your time visiting and reading this site and leaving stupid comments on it as well as creating thread after thread on your own site talking about it.

    Jackie Chan WTF

    You’re worse than he is.

    – Thing 1

  5. Insurrectional_Leftist says:

    The one thing I want to know right now is, “Where is Florb?” We must must locate his where a bouts? In search of Florb !! Where could he be hid out at? Could he be in a Wot Labs Safe House some where? 😉 Could he be re-rolling? Maybe labs has him locked up in one of those padded sub-forums somewhere? Or maybe the VA has him locked up some where ? Or maybe they sent him on a dangerous mission somewhere looking for loopholes in Wargamings outer peremiters for exploites for More XP, freebeeies, or glitches etc. 😉

    LOL! Now THAT is some funny shit right there!

    We have no clue where he’s been lately. It’s been a few months I think since anybody heard from him when he last showed up bitching about his computer STILL not being able to run the game. I don’t know if he rerolled or not. I wouldn’t think he would simply because it’s not going to help him really. He’s not that good to begin with and overall his stats were never really that bad either. From what little we’ve seen, even the Wotlabs assholes laugh at him alot.

    – Thing 1

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